The institution of the Shiva visit is an ancient one. Rooted in the Torah’s description of the seven days of mourning observed when Yosef brought his father Yaakov Avinu for burial, and shaped by our Sages over the last two millennia, the mitzvah of comforting mourners remains one of Judaism’s most profound acts of kindness.

Many people are familiar with the general laws of mourning and the obligation to comfort mourners, yet few have ever received formal guidance on how to navigate a Shiva visit with thoughtfulness and sensitivity. If you have ever been a mourner yourself, you may remember the visitor who asked too many questions about your loved one’s illness or final days, the people who shared lengthy stories of their own losses, or the guests who stayed too long, discussed sports or politics, or chatted with others in the room. At times, it may have been unclear who was comforting whom.

With this in mind, Ematai has created a one-page Shiva Etiquette guide that can be downloaded and placed at the entrance or inside the home of a mourner. Its purpose is to gently remind visitors that a Shivah call is not about providing answers or explanations, but about offering presence, compassion, and support.

Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik beautifully taught that the essence of a Shiva call is not primarily to explain suffering, but to share the mourners’ loneliness and affirm that they do not grieve alone.

Ematai’s one-page Shiva Etiquette guide offers practical reminders to help us fulfill the mitzvah of nichum aveilim with genuine caring and concern. Download a copy below and consider placing it at the entrance of a Shiva home as a considerate guide for visitors.